check in with you?!

i decided to turn this summer into "cait's official summer of ridiculousness" by signing on to work 2 part-time jobs, play on a ball team and maintain a 9-5 work week. i knew when i got into this that it wouldn't leave much room for a social life, although i maintain that if i want to see you, i will make time for you. there are also plenty of off weeks, where i don't have too much going on. i figured it'd be good for the bank account for the fall, as well as good for me to get out there and keep busy. meeting new people and learning new things is also a good choice.

i have been on a few dates lately, and have been absolutely upfront and honest about my ridiculous schedule. the bonus is that it sort of gives me an out if i don't want to see the guy again, and it seems to have been working fairly well. i don't like to lie, really. and one might ask, "well, cait, if you know you're going to be so busy, why agree to go out with these guys?" and it's a valid question. i've asked it of myself as well. i think the answer is that i still want to meet someone and in the meantime i am filling my life with things that i enjoy. it's alright to be selfish.

i had a fairly busy weekend last week. being the long weekend, lots of stuff popped up - BBQs, drinks, dinners, the island themed Lost finale party @ my mom's. y'know, stuff i love with people i love more! the phone wasn't always near me, and to be quite honest, i didn't feel like carrying on many text message conversations. i did manage to fit in one date with ... let's call him, party guy, for reasons i shall explain later. and i'll talk about him later too.

but throughout all this, i keep receiving text messages from this one guy in particular. now, we went out for coffee two weekends ago and then went for a walk in eau claire. there was no spark. sweet guy, but very very awkward. i worry that he hasn't seen the light of day in awhile, other than to go to work. i gave him a hug goodbye at the end of it, knowing that i had absolutely no intention of seeing him again. maybe i should have been a bit more obvious about it, because he continued to message me and chat. and i'm friendly. but yeah, busy. really really really busy.

so he catches me on msn last night. and he asks how my weekend was. "awesome!" i reply. "yeah," he says. "i thought you would've texted more." "well, y'know, i had a lot going on," i reply.

and then he comes out with - and this is absolutely classic.

"well, it'd be nice if you checked in with me once in awhile so i know that you're busy."

y..yeah? you mean, like i would do if we were in a relationship?

"well, i'm not exactly going to give up up-to-the-minute status updates, now am i?" i say.

"not minute by minute," he replies.

"that's a little unfair to expect at this stage of the game." ONE DATE. one date, kids.

i know that i'm irresistible and all but for fuck's sake. and to his credit, maybe i wasn't as clear with him as i should have been. maybe he was still holding out hope that there'd be a date #2. le sigh.

now - why can't the guys i'm actually interested in be all available and not frustrating? oh yeah, because then i probably wouldn't like them.

ok, not really. it's just an odd pattern in my life.

side note: blog-writing to beethoven is pretty much the best thing ever. i am furiously typing at my keyboard and there is music swirling around my head. there is something about this music that fills me up completely and makes me forget myself.